Skip to main content
Home
  • About us
    • Our company
    • Our strategy
    • Our purpose
      • Our purpose
      • Our brands
      • Community investments
    • Governance
      • Governance structure
      • Board of Directors
      • Executive Committee
      • Governance documents
    • Compliance
      • Group Compliance
      • Insider Dealing
      • Code of Conduct
      • Speaking up
      • Workplace harassment prevention
      • Financial Economic Crime
      • Know your customer
      • Compliance documentation
  • Investors
    • Annual reports
    • Financial results
    • Presentations
    • Shareholder meetings
      • Annual General Meeting
      • Extraordinary General Meeting
    • Financial calendar
    • Dividend
      • Latest
      • Dividend history
      • Dividend policy
    • Share buybacks
    • Debt and ratings
      • Guiding principles
      • Debt programs
      • Senior notes
      • Capital securities
      • Fixing Schedule Perpetuals
      • Subordinated notes
      • Ratings
    • Investor information
      • Contact investor relations
      • Major shareholders
      • Retail US shareholders
      • Financial and shareholder FAQs
      • Share price tool
      • Financial calendar
      • Analysts
  • Media
    • All news
    • Contact media relations
    • Media kit
  • Sustainability
    • Our priorities
      • Climate change
      • Inclusion and diversity
    • Our approach
    • Our commitments
    • Our ratings
    • Our reports and policies
    • Business conduct
      • Human rights
      • Responsible investment
      • Responsible tax
      • Responsible procurement
      • Government and policy affairs
  • Careers
    • Vacancies
      • Search
    • Why Aegon
    • Inclusion & Diversity
    • Career development
    • Graduates and interns
  • Aegon country websites

    Select another Aegon website from the list of links below.
    • country flag
      Transamerica (USA)
    • country flag
      Aegon Spain
    • country flag
      Mongeral Aegon (Brazil)
    • country flag
      Aegon Asset Management
    • country flag
      Aegon in China
    • country flag
      Aegon United Kingdom

It's time to talk about financial infidelity

November 17, 2021, 12:13 CET
2 minutes

Breadcrumb

  1. All News

For richer or poorer. Right? Wrong! When your partner is consistently secretive or deceitful about money, it might be time to ask for help.

Your partner takes out loans in your name. Keeps quiet about credit card debt. Consistently can't stick to a budget or shuts down discussions about finances. Or refuses to help pay the bills, even after promising to do so. If any of these ring true, you might be dealing with financial infidelity.

Money troubles are a key reason for divorce. In fact, almost 41% of couples say that fighting over money and spending habits led them to splitsville. Sometimes, it's just bad luck, or a combination of low income, debt, stress, and the feeling that life isn't heading in the right direction. Money really does touch everything.

However, financial infidelity is something else. It's lying to each other about money, which is especially sour if you’ve combined your finances. So, if you're struggling with a partner who has, on multiple occasions, revealed secret debts, hid credit cards, spends irresponsibly or kept critical funds to themselves, you may be dealing with financial infidelity.

The consequences are far-reaching. You may be unable to purchase a house or qualify for a loan. It's almost impossible to plan ahead or put together a rainy-day fund, let alone save for retirement. Perhaps you are forced to pinch pennies while your partner overspends.

Like Sandeep, 26, who tried multiple times to save his relationship after his partner didn't keep up with taxes, child support payments, and personal loans. "It's scary, frustrating and stressful to feel like you're never going to get ahead, and you have this weight around your neck in the form of a financially irresponsible partner."

Getting back on track

Sometimes it helps to consider the following: being financially incompatible is a very valid reason not to want to spend your life with someone. However, there are some other steps you can take together with your significant other (aside from seeing a marriage counselor):

  • Sit down with a financial advisor as soon as you can
  • Set credit alerts for yourself and your spouse, so no loans are extended without your know-how
  • Discuss finances openly and frequently!
  • Always share bank and credit card statements, even for personal accounts
  • Create a budget and develop methods to stick to it, together!

.

Follow Aegon

Sign up for our global newsletter Aegon UK Aegon the Netherlands Transamerica Contact our other businesses

Read more about financial infidelity

Forbes: Financial Infidelity – How To Spot It, How To Stop It, And How To Make Sure It Never Happens To You Again CNBC: 43% of adults say they have financially cheated on their partner

Contact

  • Media relations
  • Investor relations
  • About us
    • Our company
    • Our strategy
    • Our purpose
    • Contact Aegon
  • Investors
    • Annual reports
    • Financial results
    • Presentations
    • Investor information
  • Media
    • All news
    • Media relations
    • Media kit
    • Newsletter sign up
  • Sustainability
    • Our approach
    • Our priorities
    • Business conduct
  • Careers
    • Search vacancies
    • Why Aegon
    • Career development
Site logo
  • Privacy statement
  • Cookie statement
  • Accessibility
  • Disclaimer
Aegon ©2025